Purpose Driven Hookups


 Luke 10:1 NIV

 After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go.

Divinely orchestrated relationships are always about purpose – two people who are brought together in order to serve.

When serving others is your life’s focus, everything else will fall into place, including your love life.

What keeps God’s people from divine hookups?

Many Christian singles are not spiritual, they just go to church.

They don’t spend any time with God outside of Sunday or (Saturday) service. Going to church is not having an intimate relationship with God.

If you don’t read the scripture and you never pray,  you’re not going to be on the pulse of what He wants from you and for you.

When you’re not seeking God, you won’t hear God, and when you can’t hear God you can’t know what He wants you to do and who He wants you to do it with.

You can be a churchgoer and be in spiritual darkness.

He wants you to walk in the light but He only gives revelation to those who spend time with Him. That’s why Jesus said come and sup with me.

If you share a meal with someone there’s intimacy, you eat and you talk.

The Word is spiritual food. While you’re eating the Word and talking to God you’re being nourished spiritually, and when you’re nourished you become healthy and whole. Then and only then can you really see.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Romans 12:12 NLT

The relationship God directs you towards for His purposes may not look like the type of man/woman you’ve always been physically attracted to, but you will be attracted, and it will be higher and deeper than just the physical. More on that in the next post.

Loving you to life,


The Way

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

John 14:6 NIV


I haven’t posted in a while because this blog is a ministry, and if I don’t have anything edifying to write about – no new insights/revelations that will help you, I’m not allowed to write.

I can only write what I know, which is only what I’ve been shown.

I’ve been in the wilderness, led by the Spirit to be tempted by the enemy. While ultimately this a blessing for you the reader, it has been a wild ride for me, but knowing that effective ministry doesn’t come forth without the temptation experience, I count it all joy


  1. When Jesus taught about marriage, He said many wouldn’t be able to accept the truth about marriage.
  2. Likewise, many won’t be able to receive the truth about singleness, but here it is anyways:

 The apostle Paul taught that being single was a better state than marriage because you’re allowed to throw all of yourself into finishing the work of Christ without distractions.

The married person has less time and focus on the work because they have another person to consider.

This means the single Christian can hop up and go to Timbuktu to minister six months out of the year, or join multiple ministries that take up all their time. They can be completely devoted to the work.

The married person cannot and should not be completely devoted to the work above all else because their marriage and family life will be neglected and badly affected.

Many folks in ministry have messed up marriage and family lives because they didn’t put family before ministry, and they were out-of-order.

 Christian singles who really desire to be married have a hard time with ‘the single life is better than married life message’.

How in the world could single life be better than married life, they wonder? 

Well, it depends on what realm controls you.

As believers we are betwixt and between two realms – the spiritual and the natural.

The realm we focus on is the realm that controls us.

The natural realm is the world, and in the world the single life isn’t better. In the world being a servant is for suckers, and personal satisfaction is king.

The only singles who think single life is better than married life are controlled by the realm of the Holy Spirit.

What realm controls you?

Well, I love God and want to please Him, but I really want to be married too.

The answer?

Lay down your desire, focus on the work  He’s given you to do and He’ll give you the desire as a reward for putting Him first, and He’ll make sure the desire  (spouse) won’t hinder the work. We’ll talk more about that in the next post, next week.

I love you with His love,




Galatians 6:7 (MSG)

Don’t be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he’ll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God’s Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life.

Trying to grow veggies in containers on my back porch has taught me so much about life.  Growth is a spiritual process for sure.

Most of the mistakes I made while trying to grow veggies were the result of not seeking out the help of seasoned gardeners, and not preparing the soil.

Vegetables need well fertilized soil to grow. The soil has to be alive with nutrients before the planted seed will grow. If the soil is too dry or has too many rocks, the planted seed won’t grow. 

How many of us start relationships without preparing our ‘soil’ first?

Does your soul (soil) have the rocks of anger and bitterness over childhood trauma and past relationships?

The other enemy to seed growth is over watering. Over watering can set off a chain of events that can damage roots.   Most new gardeners over water out of fear and insecurity.

Have you stopped a relationship from growing out of fear and insecurity?

Growing veggies in containers on my back porch is hard work and I’ve made plenty of mistakes, but I love it so much I just keep tilling and planting and watering until I see growth.

Thank you Lord for doing the same with us. 

one love, 


Who Are You Depending On?

Cursed is the strong one who depends on mere humans, who thinks he can make it on muscle alone and sets God aside as dead weight. Jeremiah 17:5 (MSG)

The tagline for this ministry is ‘relationships. purpose. destiny.‘ In the next few posts we’ll explore how these three aspects of our lives are connected

The first relationships we have are with our families, and good or bad, those relationships set us on a path to who we truly are as God’s children. Relationships lead us to purpose and destiny. Here’s how:

  • Spiritual power comes from discovering God, and discovering God comes after you’ve depended on everyone and everything else, and found nothing
  • Finding emptiness in those you depend on breaks your heart, and you begin to wonder about real love and faith. 

The truth is people do the best they can with what they have, and many people, including mothers and fathers, are running on empty.

Some of us came through folks that didn’t have much to give and still God chose to bring us here through them so they could disappoint us, so we could hunger for real love, search for it and not find it until we found Him.  

We don’t start depending on God until we realize there is no one else to depend on.

One of the most painful, yet spiritually empowering lessons I’ve learned from all of my relationships is  God is the only one truly there for me, who truly wants the best for me. He is the only one I can trust. 

If you put your faith, hope and trust in a human being you will be disappointed. Men and women are often too weak, selfish, competitive and greedy to always put you first and to always want the best for you. They are human, and not God.

Has your heart been broken? Have you been depending on a broken person to support, encourage and love you unconditionally?  A parent, a boyfriend or a girlfriend?

Hopefully they’ve disappointed you and your heart is broken and you’re ready to rely on the One who can meet all of your needs.

With love, 


Overcoming the Wishy Washies

Are you confused about what you really want?

If so, you might not really want to get married and that might be why you’re not meeting quality, marriage minded men.

  • When men say they don’t ever want to get married or they don’t see marriage in their immediate future women who really want to get married believe what they hear, and keep it moving

  • Women who really want to get married will not spend a lot of time getting to know a man who doesn’t want to get married (unless he’s a potential business partner or a golf instructor)

  • Women who really want to get married will absolutely not tolerate being a man’s girlfriend for more than two or three years, tops.

  • Women who really want to get married will never be a man’s live in lover or his friend with bennies

Once you make a clear decision that nothing less than marriage will do, and adjust your behavior and actions to match that decision, quality marriage minded men will appear.  If you don’t, they won’t. 

His word, not mine.

But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.  For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;  he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. 

James 1:6-8

Are You Ready for Love ?

Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.

Matthew 7:7

 Step One

Admit that you don’t know what love is.

Your past relationships should prove this.

Step Two

Ask God to show you what love is. 

 Ask Him to show you what’s in your heart, mind and spirit that prevents you from experiencing love for what it truly is.

He is love, and He promised that if we asked for anything that was good, He would give it.

Love is good!

Step Three

Since you asked for help, the Holy Spirit will reveal the issues that keep you from experiencing real love.

His love is alive in you but those issues keep you from letting love in. They’ve gotta go…

Love in you attracts love to you. Let love in.

 Step Four

The Holy Spirit will soften your heart and show you people who hurt you were also hurting.

The only difference between you and them is - nothing

The Holy Spirit shows you how to forgive them, and when you can forgive those who hurt and traumatized you, you’re becoming Christ-like and now you are ‘in’ love.

Love will sleep, eat, walk and talk with you, and more love will be given to you with faith and hope too, but the greatest thing is love.

When you are ready to ask, you are ready for love




All By Myself

I overheard two singles talking about how they’re taking the focus off dating to spend some time cultivating other areas of their lives.

I thought about my own commitment to doing just that and after taking an honest look, I must admit I’ve fallen by the wayside. While I’ve done some things, there’s still lots more to do with my wonderful single self. 

Of course I’m eating better and drinking less coffee but I still have not made that appointment for that much-needed massage, and I haven’t saved a dime! #noexcuses

I’m reading scriptures more, but praying for others less (not good) and I’ve learned to cook new dishes, but haven’t started swimming lessons or invited friends over to cook those new dishes with and I haven’t mastered the art of small talk in Spanish…

There’s still so much to do with myself while I’m single. 

What about you



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